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Open Question: how do you help someone you love that has severe abandoment issues? and more... Open Question: how do you help someone you love that has severe abandoment issues?I dated this girl for a few months after I was friends with her for a while. Her father left when she was a baby and was never around, and she was engaged to a guy that was physically and verbally abusive to her. He put her in the hospital and she now has a restraining order against him, yet he doesn't quite seem to get the hint and she is still dealing with that after two years. Things between us were fantastic until one day she just turned it off like she flipped a switch. I later find out that she has a history of this with guys that she has dated and even her friends. As soon as she finds herself close to others she has a freak out. Now it has been a few months since we have broken up and we still talk to each other and hang out. She has opened up to me a lot in this time and has told me her story about what has happened in her life, that she has a tendency of freaking out, that she feels like she made a mistake, and that she does not want to date anyone until she figures her problems out. I really clicked with her and care for her very much and it kills me to see her in pain. I understand that we may never get back together and that is fine with me. I would rather see her happy. I don't feel as though I am wasting my time because if that what it takes to help her even to be some one else, her happiness is what concerns me. Now with that novel being said. What the hell do I do. I am there for her, I listen, I talk and try to take her mind off of it. I do try to lightly push her to talk every now and then because I know that if she keeps it bottled up she will never be happy. It is really a delicate subject with her and I just dont know what to do any more. I dont want to walk away either because of things that we said during our relationship, and mostly I dont want to add to her abandoment issues because of those said things. Love is knowing when to let go, I just dont want to do it prematurely and add to her misery. Any thoughs or advice would be great because my hair is naturally falling out and I cant afford to pull any more of it out on my own. Thanks Open Question: What do i do about this girl?There is this girl named kayla and we have turned into best friends. She wants to hang out with me all the time and we hang out all the time.My grandma(who i live with)is in love with her and her parents love me. Well the problem is im in love with this girl.Now she is amazingly beautiful and of course there is all kinds of guys that constantly try and get with her but they only want one thing and that is pussy.Well i dont i love this girl not just because of her looks but because of her amazing personality it just clicks with me. Her parents constantly ask her why she doesnt date me and she says im her best friend.We talk on the phone for like 3 hours at night.But of course i know she calls other dudes and stuff but she will hang up on any dude to call me. She constantly says im her best friend but she also tells me how were gonna get married and stuff.She calls me cute all the time and she says she loves my body(i work out alot lol)but its just idk.She kisses me on the cheek and neck(not like hicky style)and constantly hugs me.Some teacher asked about why we dont date and she didnt say no or yes she just said i think he would be a good boyfriend.idk what else to say we wrestle all the time and she bites me and and leaves bite marks all over me when i dont have a shirt on and i tickle her and all that its almost like were datin.Its just well i wish we were. I would love to tell her how i feel but im just afraid that it will ruin our friendship if she dont like me back.also we have these moments where we will stare at each other and its just like we should kiss.IDC what nobody says but she is the most amazing girl i know i will ever meet and she is the most beautiful girl in the world and i would kill anybody fight anybody and just pretty much stand up for her in any situation.She knows(i hope she does)that if she wants somethin done all she has to do is ask me.I mean she constantly wants me to come over cuz were both grounded right now(i got arrested and sent to juvey cuz i was on probation and she just got arrested)but i love this girl like tonight even though i was on probation i snuck my truck out and like 12 when my grandma left to go hang at her house because i am truely that in love with this girl that i would go to jail over her.I mean damn yal just dont know but i constantly try and cover it up so i dont hurt myself so i tell myself were just friends but in my heart i know i want more from her.Any help is needed you can email me or whatever i just dont know what to do....She is a senior and 17 and im a junior 16.She even talks about us movin in together when she graduates. but idk i just love this girl. i actually considered droppin out of school or doin homeschooling just so i could be with her all the time.Yal truely dont realize how much i love her and if you wanna know more about the situation or somethin just tell me cuz i will literally do anything to have this girl to be mine.Im even gonna go tanning cuz she said i would look cutter(but ive always wanted a tan so dont think im that obsessed with her lol) but damn ill do whatever were both preppy and stuff.Idk please somebody help me. i mean i even pray everynight that we can end up dating....but thats not all i pray for.Like i wanna buy her a necklace or a ring or something for christmas but idk what to get but plus i dont want her to get freaked out or somethin just help me please and thatnk you Open Question: My girlfriend has left me to think about what she wants in life?I had been with my girlfriend for 3.5 years and love her more than anything. We dated for around 18 months, had some amazing times, it was incredible, I had never been so in love and niether had she. We moved in together buying a house near where we work. Then the problems stated to begin. She had moved 25 miles down the motorway away from her friends and family, we reluctantly decided to do this as we could not afford the cost of 2 cars commuting 50 miles round trip in traffic each day. She misses her family and feels she doesn't have enough money to see them as much as she would like. Also, we work together, so may be we see too much of each other and we irritated each other at times. In addition to this we work shifts, sometimes opposite ones, so we would see each other tired and stressed. It caused us to not be as happy together as lack of money, working together, and my girlfriend not seeing her family and friends as much has put a real strain on us. 2 years have passed, there is light at the end of the tunnel as mortgage payments are 50% less due to the low interest rate, we are able to sell the house (climate not the best though), she could change jobs as we can afford for her to earn less. The job she wants to do pays 6k p.a. less. 2 weeks ago we had a couple of petty arguments. The main one was for 10 days we worked opposite shifts and had different days off, then the day before we both had a day off together she said she was going to see her mom for the day so I would not see her. I was annoyed as I missed her etc. However it wasn't a major fallout/argument. Then when she was with her mom we had a little row about something. When she got home she said we needed to talk, however she said she wasn't happy in the relationship and was going to move back to her Mom and Dad's to think about things, she said she still loves me but her feelings have changed, she doesn't feel like she is in love with me like that. We were texting and speaking to each other regular, I met up with her after a few days to talk. I told her how much I loved her and that I want to change things between us, move house, she can change jobs, I will try anything. I said lets try going on a few dates and see how we go, start having fun again. She said she would think about it. 3 days after that she called around our house to say she had thought about things, she's still not happy so wanted to break up. I was gutted, cried a lot, she packed all her clothes and day to day bit and pieces together and left. I was distraught, we have spoke a couple of times since and have text each other several times a day. It has been a week since we broke up now, I have told her how I feel, she said she needs time to think about 'what she wants in life'. I told her I would give her complete space and that I hope she finds out what she wants. I told her I will be here if she wants to come back to me. She thanked me for understanding her. We have 4 days before we see each other at work. I'm worried that I have lost her. Will she come back to me? Will she miss me? I'm feel so low about it all! I'm 26 and she's 25. I'm looking for advice on how to win her back. I know she still loves me.... she has the 3 year itch. Open Question: NEW .. Plz read and give me advice..DOES he like me?? or wat?Some things that make me think he likes me -he txts me sometimes wanting to hang out -- he stares into my eyes and smiles sometimes he smiles and looks down - -if we are at a party he'll come up and stand near me just rambling on about everything n ne thing --when we are alone he says stuff like "i wish i could find a good gurl and stares into my eyes " --when we were alone one day hes like "Listen to this song and listen close" (skillet- say goodbye) i dont understand that at all -- sometimes we hang out he ask me to spend the nite with him and we cuddle all nite he holds me soo tight i cant move --when were alone he calls me babe...baby..sexy.. etc BUT then sometimes he ignores my txt and stuff .... sometimes he'll answer and we'll txt all day.. sometimes he txt me first.. i dont know wat to do .. i really like him... a few ppl told me they think he likes me but hes scared to tell me... and i had a problem in the past with this kid i liked he ignored me ...was mean.. but then sometimes the complete opposite.. well then we ended up movin away from each other and then he admitted to really liking me and he said he ignored me and was mean becuz he was a player and he was scared to get close to me becuz he didnt wanna hurt me .. idk if thats wat this guys problem is or if hes just a player and wants to be friends with benefits .. plz tell me wat u think.. thx. 19 minutes ago - 4 days left to answer. Additional Details And i didnt say he never made a move... there was nites together that he did make moves and we did have sex... but then theres other nites where all we did was hang out then cuddle and sleep in the same bed..but the last time we had sex he asked me like "who was ur last it better have been me and he got real serious" .. .whys he actin like this now when he never cared before... we've been friends with benefits for 4yrs now.. no matter who he dates he still tries to come back to me.. idk y..he NEVER asked me questions like that before ..PLZ HELP Open Question: Yearning a Girl Friend?Ive only dated once b4, when i was 13. I remember how I was truly happy for the first time in that time. Now Im 15 and im kinda yearning for a relationship, not for sex(not at first anyways), I just want a close female companion. Its just I have some problems. I grew up abused and this left me with a permanent distaste for stranger contact. Unless this person is one that i am comfortable with, I behave in a very distant and cold manner. I also acted out as a kid so I have I have a tough guy-smart ass attitude sometimes. But truly, Im a nice guy whos really caring and compassionate under a weary shell. Its strange my parents told me all I ever need is myself and for a time, I believed. But now I see what happiness is, or what it can be. I just need..some advice. How can I open up to people and how can I get a girl interested. More Recent Articles |
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