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Sunday, November 29, 2009

Open Question: how to approach a shy guy in a classy way? and more...

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Open Question: how to approach a shy guy in a classy way? and more...

Open Question: how to approach a shy guy in a classy way?

When I'm at a bar, or bookstore, or work.... I have no problem walking up to a guy who catches my eye. I've pretty much perfected the art of flirting with strangers. Problem is... this guy I want to talk to goes to my church. I'm not 100% sure he's single, although I believe that he is. I've briefly talked to him a few times, but am unsure how to hint to him that I would be open to getting to know him. (he's not particularly handsome- but cute in an awkward way, he's very sweet and kind. he strikes me as someone without a lot of dating experience, and seems to be bordering on the shy side. then again, appearances can be deceiving.) If this were a man I knew I wouldn't run into all the time, I'd have no problem walking up and making my interest known. But I don't want to get rejected and suffer awkward silences every time we see each other at church. Not to mention that obvious flirting may scare him away. Does anyone have any advice for me?

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Open Question: HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME PLEASEEEE!!!!!!I am so hurt and confused!(10 points best answer)!!?

So I was talking to this guy for about two months, and after HE repeatedly told me that he really likes me and would like to hang out sometime, we finally made plans to hang out on Tuesday. But on Monday night, I saw that he had me blocked online. When I asked him why, he said that he cant hang out with me because I'm "too good," and he feels like I can do better than him (he was a heroin addict for a year, but has been clean 7 months. I told him I don't have a problem with his past though). He told me he has self esteem issues and anxiety, and that my confidence and positive nature makes him feel like I should look for someone better. About three months ago, he was also cheated on by his ex girlfriend(whom he dated nine months), so I know he has trust issues. I told him I'd never even think about cheating on him, but he responded with "That's what they said too." We are both 21, I am graduating college in May, while he is taking some time off, trying to figure out what to do. (Which is another reason why he feels like I am "too good" for him). I kept trying to tell him that I DO think he's amazing and that he makes me happy, but he still insisted that he's not good enough. He said that I mean more to him than anyone else, that the past two months meant more to him than he can explain, but that he needs more time before we can hang out. About two nights later, he called me and cried because he is afraid to lose his dad, who is very sick. After I consoled him, he said, "I hope you're not mad at me. I really like you, and I mean it." The next day, I didn't hear from him again, when I contacted him, he said he felt embarrassed about crying to me about his dad, but I told him that it's not problem at all, and I want to be there for him. Today, I didn't hear from him again. What is going on? Should I wait for him to go back to normal? Should I keep talking to him, or let him go? I REALLY like this guy, but I am so confused. Is he messing with me?Thanks in advance!

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Open Question: 11-too young to kiss-too young to date?

im 11. i have never kissed anyone b4 but it looks fun! i really want to. i wonder what it feels like. (plz dont call me stupid!) and i want to have a boyfriend. but a have a problem-i dont like anyone in my school. but i know a lot of people that like me(not trying to sound braggy or whatev) but idk!!! is 11 too young to kiss? me and my friend are having a big debate about it. what is your opinion?

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Open Question: Extreme Problems With My Ex-Girlfriend?

On October 23 I was somehow brave enough to ask a girl that I thought was pretty to go out with me. (First of all, I asked her over a text message, was this a bad idea?). Well, she said yes. That night was probably the happiest night of my life. I remember I had the best feeling in the world. I was prepared to do anything for her. The next day we texted for at least a few hours. At this time it seemed like she kind of liked me, but not that much. Finally, on October 25, she completely fell for me. We texted from 8 to after midnight. She said I was being really sweet and was saying things like I was awesome. The next morning she texted me before school. After school I had a cross country meet, she was texting me there too. After that I told her that I didn't do as good as thought I was going to, and she supported me and cared about me and told me everything would be all right because I had her. A few nights ago I had just thought she was a pretty girl, now I was in love with her. The next day too she was texting me nonstop and calling me sweet and amazing and wonderful and calling me her boyfriend and everything. I suggested that we should actually talk for once, so we did the next day after school. That night we planned to talk again the next day after school. Well the next day she told me she didn't like me anymore. It broke my heart, and she wouldn't tell me why. This continued for about 10 days, but I kept trying, kept trying to show her how much she meant to me. I just kept on being sweet. Finally she gave in and realized that she still liked me. Again she started caring and texting me nonstop. On the last night she liked me, the last thing she said to me was "Stop being so sweet before I start crying. I've never known anyone who cares about me as much as you." Then we went a day without talking. The next day she again told me she didn't like me. So I thought I could get her back by being really sweet again. I tried for two weeks, two whole weeks. After those two weeks she finally told me why: she was dating someone else. It must have happened right between the last day she liked me and the day when she said she didn't like me for the second time. I asked her if she thought about me at all when this new guy first talked to her, she said no. I asked her if it meant anything at all that she was my girlfriend first, she said no. She tried to tell me that it was really hard for her to do that to me, I don't understand that at all. It's been about 35 days since I first started the relationship, so I decided I've wasted enough time, but it's so hard because I like her so much. I'll take any advice I can get. What should I do? How can I cope with the pain? Is there any way I can be happy again? Ok just to clarify it's not like I didn't know who she was before I started talking to her. And I didn't want it to be a texting relationship. I just started it out that way and wanted to start doing other stuff after that, but she didn't want that.

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Open Question: White men, Why do you Think Black women care about you?

Why do white men have a vendetta against black women? what is your problem? white men are the only race of men that are constantly running behind a computer to insult women. That is a really feminine characteristic and it looks ugly on a man " BLACK WOMEN ARE UGLY, LOUD, GHETTO, FAT, AND THEIR HAIR IS LIKE A BRILLO PAD" Umm....ok, And white men are unattractive, feminine, smell like a wet dog that just finished rolling around in it's own feces, egotistical, pathetic and think women of all races want them. Honestly the only ethnic women I see chasing white men are asian women, It is a shame because asian women are to beautiful to be settling for a white male. I never see a multiracial hispanics dating white men, and most of us black women aren't checking for you either. When ever I see a white male pass me in the street I don't even look twice. I find black men the most attractive, If I did date outside my race I would date a puerto ricans or another mixed latino, They are attractive. So to white men out there why do you invest so much of your time attempting to lower the self esteem of black women? You might be able to weaken a few of my sistas with your rhetoric but I'm way to strong and proud to let your negativity get to me. What is your problem really? For the people saying "hispanic is not a race" If you can read I said MULTIRACIAL HISPANICS ARE ATTRACTIVE. Not talking about white hispanics. And I'm only writing this to clear up the air, I'm sick and tired of white men thinking we black women want them. Black women are the least likely to date interracially so get over it seriously. Black women aren't checking for white men in reality. Only a handful a black women would give a white man the time of day.

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Open Question: I don't want a new relationship, I want my ex...like I can't visualise myself in a new one?

Because my ex was my first relationship and it went for quite a while then that's really the only relationship I've got to go off. I can see myself dating other people and I've had a couple of guys since my ex and I broke up 3 months ago but I want to wait for a new relationship until I'm sure I'm ready (may be a while). The problem is, while I can see myself dating and all that, I can't imagine being in something long term with somebody else because 1) I can't imagine them putting up with me and my quirks 2) I can't imagine having better in-jokes and cute phrases with somebody else So I really can't see it, and it makes me depressed. I'm sure most people put up with quirks and people are more tolerant than I give them credit for, and I know all relationships have their cute phrases and honestly I invented most of them so it'll probably happen again...but that's my logical mind and the rest of me just wants to sit down and cry and cry for my ex back. BTW I am NOT going to get back with him so don't suggest that. I've only spoken to him once in the last month via email and I'm trying to keep up no contact. It's definitely over.

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Open Question: go to couples counseling or break up?

ive been dating a guy for a year now, we've had problems that are pretty serious off and on. we've tried working things out many times by ourselves and our relationship ends up going back to fighting and not communicating. at this point i feel the only way LEFT to salvage our relationship is go to couples counseling... after a year of dating is it stupid to get couples counseling considering we arent married? i feel like its a mature step to take if we want to have a heathy relationship but on the other hand i feel like its weird to get counseling when its only been a year and we arent married any thoughts....? i feel like all relationships take work and theres nothings wrong with admitting a relationship needs help i love him and want us to learn to communicate more effectivly if he agrees to couples counseling then i want to work things out. if he doesnt want to do counseling i am going to leave him. to answer the question why are we fighting. i feel like we are both ALOT of like in almost every way which is why we butt heads so much but on the other hand i feel like its why we love eachother so much and have such a intense connection with eachother. if i didnt love him i wouldnt even consider doing counseling. we both need to work on communicating, having patience and work on accepting responsibility.

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Open Question: why we have this feeling of other when we are happy with what we got?

what is with people wanting to not be with there spouse or bf/gf if there only reason is because they bond with some one else on the way they look. i have just answer a few questions about ok to cheat or should i take blah blah blah back after this and that. i am in a relationship that is strong and were half the age of people who are the ones asking. im 18 and my bf is 21 we have been together when i was 14 an he was 17. within the 1st week of dating we both chose not to have sex until it was right an now we both stand for after marriage and religion has nothing to do with it im Wicca an he thinks eye for eye tooth for tooth way. i dont question if im with the wrong guy even when we almost did say it was over but we worked it out and we stronger now. hes even 300 miles away at school. so i dont understand why others have this problem of not being happy and enjoying what they have if nothings wrong and they just want somthing else. any ideas y or are me and my bf just the odd's of some static?

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