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Open Question: Strong feelings for my EX but in a relationship (shortened)? and more... Open Question: Strong feelings for my EX but in a relationship (shortened)?Okay this is the much shortened version of another question... if you want more details you can go to my profile and check it out.... . . so here goes... . I am in a relationship with a girl that has lasted 1 1/2 years.. i'm fairly happy but I notice a very obvious difference in the general maturity level of me and my gf... We're both 18, but it seems like i'm 20, and she's 14. (Many people have told me this). I do care for her greatly, and her family possibly even moreso. . My exgf I have gone out with twice, once in 9th grade and again in 11th grade. During that whole time I was borderline obsessed with her. Both of us however were not ready for actual relationships; we both had issues that needed to be addressed. The failure of our second relationship brought about great change in both of us, so much so that we can now thank each other for "saving" each other from living like a 12 year old. . My exgf had many issues including fear of public affection, locking up emotions, and she was slightly abusive. I was just a whiny little bltch about everything and had my own public affection fears and emotional fears... . Now a friend of mine is dating her, and I find myself extremely jealous... All the things I nearly begged for when I was with her she is giving to him... Things so simple as letting him hold her in his arms while waiting in line somewhere, hugging him where all can see, giving a little kiss when visiting at work or saying goodbye. All of them, she had problems with when we were dating, and she still does but is working to try to get over it. . Even now my friend is neglecting her. I know this because she's texted me many a time about how he wont pay attention to her... And then out of no where I find myself texting his ass to give her attention... Emotionally painful when you think about it,,, I am basically telling a friend of mine to caress the girl i want so she can love him more... Its rather hard to do... and saddening . I really feel that at the time we were dating we never had a chance to fully express ourselves, and never had a chance to fully explore our feelings because we were both just so young and immature. I find myself spending time with her and just wishing that I could press my lips softly against hers, or embrace her in my arms as she holds the side of her head against me.... . I even ran to her house recently (almost on instinct) when she told me she heard someone creeping around behind her house to make sure she was okay and safe... (I only do that for my gf, exgf, and bff Karen) . I clearly haven't been able to fully get over her, because i still find myself wanting to hold her and love her... I still know her better than almost anyone, and she knows me the same. I still gain pleasure out of making her smile, or making her happy... I enjoy spending time with her.. Things that I wouldn't ever do she can somehow convince me to do without even trying, and I actually have fun. . I am torn between my relationship with my current gf, and my feelings for her and her family... and all of these years old feelings for my exgf.. all of the unfulfilled wants, and desires... all of the feelings that i never got a chance to live... I just dont know what to do.... -.- Open Question: My partner was abused as a child - by an uncle from the age of four - now we are having problems. Help?Hi, My lovely girlfriend who I adore so much and have been with 6 months told me last week just out of the blue that she was abused as a child by an uncle (the word she used was raped). Since then sometimes at night i have been unable to get the horrible thoughts out of my head about how bad it must have been for her. When i touch her now at night I wonder did that horrible child rapist touch her like that - and its almost like I am scared to initiate our lovemaking. When we do make love sometimes some of the horrible thoughts have come into my mind and now I think she can sense that something is wrong. She is a wonderfull person and very perceptive and we plan to get married and pend a wonderful life together, I adore her so much but now more and more of her past is coming to light I am getting worried I suppose. She was married at 18 to a guy who turned out to be one of these abusive partners and almost died from here time spent with him, and she was again married to a guy who turned out to be a convicted rapist (though only married for 6 months), and one time when we started dating she told me she had a rape fantasy (tho it has never occured to her). On friday I had to get my dog put down who I had for 15 years and a lot of emotions have been coming to the fore - i dont know how to feel and on top of that a family member (my brother) has really let me down big time on the same day. On top of that of friday evening when i went round to my girlfriends house we talked a bit and while in bed she said "oh i was going to give you some loving tonight wasnt I? i laughed and we kissed for like 30 seconds before she said "i dont want - you are so cold" and pushed me away. That topped off a really bad day and i was so tired and mentally drained I just said "your horrible" and fell asleep. On sat she was really distant and when I picked her up from work last night she was the same. I asked her if she was ok and wanted to talk she said no she was just tired and went to sleep(giving me the cold shoulder), I did not sleep well. I took her to work this morning as normal (7am on a sunday think i am a nice boyfriend) and i recieved a text from her about an hour later saying she thinks I have doubts. We are gonna talk later but i really dont know what to say to her, I have been thinking about what she told me in terms of being abused a lot, I cant help it it was really shocking, but i still love her and find her attractive and wonderful and want to be with her so much. Any advice is welcome thanks Open Question: he moving...advisee pleaseee?my boyfrand is moving in january...we have been dating for 2 months and i feel were really right for each other..but the distance is the only problem...i mean its not that far butits far enough.. and i am supost to be moving out of state in march..what would u think the best thing to do is? he said he wants to stay together but it would be very hard..whats the best thing to do?..i just feel..we wont have the chance to see were this could go... More Recent Articles
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