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Open Question: Guys--why do I not get asked out? and more... Open Question: Guys--why do I not get asked out?I have a question. I have been single for about 6 months (I broke off an abusive relationship of 3 years) and I am definitely not looking to date but I want to know why I don't get asked out. I'm talking about I NEVER get asked out. I am very friendly but sometimes I'm a bit shy around people I do not know. I work at a chain restaurant bar and guys will make rude remarks or stare but they will never ask me out. Guys will seem interested yet nothing ever comes from it. They will also leave their numbers but they will never just come up and say hi. It seems like every other girl gets asked out and goes on so many dates and I am just so frustrated because I don't. I don't know if I am just not used to being single so I set off some sort of vibe or what. Even the rudest, not-so attractive bitchiest girls get asked out however I do admit they are very aggressive. I am not aggressive and I couldn't ever fathom asking a guy out, I would just die! I am 21 and I am almost finished with school and I'm self-conscious because all of my friends are getting married and starting families and I do not even have any prospects! From what I have witnessed, it seems that all the guys prefer the aggressive, willing to jump into bed on the first date kind of women. I am not like that and I'm not willing to be like that just to get asked out! What is my problem?! I'm tired of people saying "oh you are so nice and beautiful, you will make one man so lucky to have you." It can't be true because no men even ask me out! :D Open Question: What do I do? (very serious plz read and reply) kinda long?Ok well first off im 21 and my bf is 28. Im 5 months pregnant with his baby. I got pregnant soon after we started dating..I thought i was in love with him (did not try to get pregnant,just throwing that out there). We spent every night together,we drank almost everynight together but i didnt think it was a problem bc we would just get like 1 daquiri,we had alot of fun...the first 2 months felt like weve been together for 6 months. He takes valiums and klonopin for his nerves and i didnt know he was abusing them,well i kinda new he would take more sometimes just for fun but i didnt see it as a problem. I was prescribed klonopin as well and even though ive been through addiction i never abused my meds( I took them so that i wouldnt get panic attacks) anyway one day i noticed 10 of them were missing. I blamed it on my roomate. ANywayy one night he was a nervous wreck for some reason so he took 3 valiums...we went to our friends house and drank. Well he started freaking out (i have it on vid but i dont think i should put that on here without his permission) so yeah he was rapping in the video camera(cuz he's a wannabe gangster) but i didnt really pay attention to what he was rapping about..He was just acting crazyy...like telling me he wanted to die and wanted to die since he was 8 and that he wwould die behind his own mom...Stuff like that. Our friends thought it would be better to stay at their house but he wanted to go home so i drove his car home (he was really fucked up bc he wont let anyone drive his car ever) once we got to his house he started threatning his grandfather..being so loud that the neighbor left. He was acting so crazy i was actually getting scared,he took a knife out the drawr and was standing in front his granpaw with the knife naked. I called my friend to pick me up bc i didnt want to be there obviously. Once she got there he spit in my freinds face and started threatning her...i got in the car and he spit at my window for leaving him. I was going to break up with him but i thought he just drank too much...my freind called the cops and he went to a phyc ward for like 2 weeks. The whole time he was there he was calling me and telling me how much he wants to change and how much he loved me and doesnt think he should drink anymore...I believed him(stupid me). I found out I was pregnant while he was there. I was in such shock that I quit my job...i didnt know what to do. my roomate was there with me and i called my mom and told her then i called my bf. He was happy,he said he wants to raise the child with me and he wants to be a good sober dad. I stayed with him but once he got out the hospital things just got worse, When we got to his house he took my phone and called my ex's and started threatning them. I was so embarassed. WE were arguing alot but after an arguement we always make up and act all lovey dovey. He didnt stop drinking...Once i was sober bc of the pregnancy i started noticing how much he drank. Its been very hard watching him drink while i cant yet he still does it right in front my face. ONe night we went out to eat sushi,he got 2 large sakes....and a big meal that I didnt know i was gunna have to pay for. Well that sake made him crazy..i wanted to break up with him and when i tried to drop him off at his house he wouldnt let me go. He took my purse out the car and went inside so i followed him,he was acting really weird..like telling me what to do and stuff. He was calling me a bitch and a whore and pulled a knife out the drawer,i was scared so i called the cops...he put the knife down(actually he took his anger out by chopping a banana) I called back and he freaked out and basically made me drive him down the street to his friends house. i drove back to his house and watied for the cops and he went to jail.. They arrested him with kindof a harsh charge (false imprisonment with a deadly weapon). He Tried to make it look like I was the crazy one for calling the cops bc all he did was "chop a bananna" well how the fuck did i know what he was gunna do with that knife?? I broke up with him over the phone while he was in jail. ONce he got out I didnt get a restraining order bc he never threatned me or anything...we were broken up for about 2 months. I met up with him so he could get closure and i realized that i missed him alot,i actually started crying//he said he was sober and diong good..well we got back togethher. IT was going really good for about a week. The sex was amazing..and we barely ever argued. Welll then he started drinking alitlle bit again like for the game...im not gunna tell him he cant drink with his friends on game day bc i dont want to sound physco. Well anywayy lately evrything has been pregressing..He's started to drink and take pills behind my back. His money dissapears. He waked up in the middle of the night to take pills. Lastnight i got to his house and he said he had nothing to drink and he was just tired and that he would never lie to me. Well I fo Open Question: How do I explain this to my doctor....Or would he think it's just a lame excuse?Basically, I'm in a specialized program for gambling addiction. It was really hard to get admitted into it, because there are stringent requirements. It is also in a beautiful part of the mountains. It also has a lot of hidden perks, like counseling and all around general help in daily living. Here is the problem: I'm kind of scared to start treatment, because it will run its course, the people might not like me, and it may eventually come to an end (discharge). The weird thing is, I'm feeling much better being IN the program, even though I haven't even started treatment yet! I just feel so secure knowing it is there if I need it. I have felt 50% happier just knowing I'm in the program, even though I haven't actually begun anything yet. If I start treatment, I'm afraid I'll get worried about what the counselors think (I have social phobia), the treatment will run its course and someday come to an end. How do I explain to my doctor that I'm actually feeling better being IN the program, even though I haven't even started treatment? I want to delay the start date indefinitely, but the program directors expect you to begin treatment as soon as you are admitted. How can I explain that I feel good knowing that I'm "in" and that in itself has made me feel loads better, but I don't want to start yet? Or would he think it is a cop out? Open Question: My boyfriend had so many problems, do you think I made the right choice by ending the relationship?My boyfriend had so many problems. I ended the relationship. Do you think I made the right choice? I'm 22 and my boyfriend was 29. We dated for 1 year. I know that there are problems in every relationship, but I feel like mine had WAY too many. Would these things bother you, and would they make you end your relationship? I'll try to make the list short... - -Hes 29 and still lives at home. -He got fired 6 months ago, and has yet to put in one application.(Hes just "bumming it on unemployment)-He gets 280.00$ a week and manages to blow it ALL and he has NO bills! -He got fired for borrowing too much money-(To gamble with) -He has a gambling problem (although it has gotten better but I think just due to the fact he doesn't have much money) -He never Graduated high school or went to get his GED -His only job he had for 12 years was working at a pizza place as a supervisor. -He has depression and anxiety -He will often say "Im not in the MOOD to do anything" and blame it on his anxiety/depression -He has gone to rehab for pain pill addiction (But is now clean- but it worries me he will go back) -He gets medication for his "moods" its a mood stabilizer and he sells them to his friend-for $$ -He no longer has a car, we have to take my car EVERYWHERE and it's getting annoying! - I didn't know what to do anymore. If I brought up any of these issues I would "stress" him out. --Would these things have made you end the relationship, or would you have stuck it out to see if it got better? I just stopped taking his phone calls one day. -Al Open Question: When my girlfriend hangs out with others why does she always comes back horney?We have dated for about two years and have been apart for no more than a week. When she goes to hang out with someone, anyone, she always is really horny that night. Is it just the excitement of hanging out with someone else for a day and at least she is faithful or is there a deeper problem like her wanting to cheat. It has always been like that. when we first started dating I finally gave in and had sex with her after a few months even though I wanted to wait longer. However when we started having sex she wanted it more the more she hung out with other guys. I don't care that this extra wetness makes the sex even better than it is, I just wanna know why she isn't like that when I try to turn her on. Oh yeah one more thing, she also only wants me to give her head when the situation happens, not any other times. Open Question: How do I explain this to my doctor....Or would he think I'm not complying with treatment?Basically, I'm in a specialized program for gambling addiction. It was really hard to get admitted into it, because there are stringent requirements. It is also in a beautiful part of the mountains. It also has a lot of hidden perks, like counseling and all around general help in daily living. Here is the problem: I'm kind of scared to start treatment, because it will run its course, the people might not like me, and it may eventually come to an end (discharge). The weird thing is, I'm feeling much better being IN the program, even though I haven't even started treatment yet! I just feel so secure knowing it is there if I need it. I have felt 50% happier just knowing I'm in the program, even though I haven't actually begun anything yet. If I start treatment, I'm afraid I'll get worried about what the counselors think (I have social phobia), the treatment will run its course and someday come to an end. How do I explain to my doctor that I'm actually feeling better being IN the program, even though I haven't even started treatment? I'm so happy I got admitted, but I want to delay the start date indefinitely, because I don't want it to run its course, leading to discharge from the program. (If the treatment ended, I would have nothing...I'm pretty much on my own in a new city) If the above was too verbose to understand, just answer this. How do you explain to a doctor that you are feeling better just being in a program, knowing you can start any time, and you want to delay the start date indefinitely? (The hitch is that everyone that is admitted into the program is naturally expected to start treatment right away....Would they think it was crazy that I wanted to be "in" the program but want to delay treatment?) i posted this q (similar) in psychology before seeing your post...thx for the feedback (to Brandon above) More Recent Articles
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