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Open Question: How can I get justice? and more... Open Question: How can I get justice?My husband cheated and lied to me (in ways I will NOT explain, sorry) and I can't seem to forgive him...it's been several months now and we've seen a counceler who has now moved. A man who had been doing this for 50 years said he didn't know of how to help-that either I would have to learn to forgive or we would have to find a way to cope-at our last session (hubby was away in military so was just me and counceler) he stated that he didn't see the problem with me but with my hubby-that every thing I agree or do not agree with and will and own't tolerate is clear, black and white and no inbetween. He said it's not hard for even the most confused man to understand. He said that I did not need to to continue the counceling but oculd if I wanted but that he did recommend that my husband continue to see someone. Since then, he has stoped-and not willing to go. I'm not taking anxiety meds and he claims if I'm on that then he can straighten out to as far as anger goes and our fighting. The ONLY reason I even considered a counceler the first time was because of our baby (who is now almost 8 months) but I wanted to just leave and divorce. I'm always cheaking the computer and his phone and such, the counceler once asked if I wanted to catch my hubsnad cheating-my asnswer was no, I want to be proved wrong-but I feel if I DON'T keep cheaking and on him then he will think he can and will again. I'm finally at the point where I don't care-and now we don't have a sexual relationship-sex just doesn't feel good (and honestly i don't think it would feel good with any other man either) but even with not careing i'm having dreams of him lieing and cheating again. he's not doing anymore and he even allowed me to put a block on our computer password protected so I will any and all web pages he goes to evev if he deletes. to be honest i feel and know he's not doing anything wrong but also afraid that he might 'slip up' just once and thats all it takes. how can I make myself forget oor get past this? councelers can't help me...they've all tried and ther's no hypnosis people in this area that I can see. The thing is i do not feel any justice for ME! yea he will be jugded in the after life but that wil be for him-I need justive for me! I need him to be hurt and have pain as he has caused me-it is not fair to me that he can lie and cheat-and still get to keep a wife. I'd rather be single and cashually date then to be with someone that I know can't trust nor forgive-and for soem who says in time I will-Time will take too long for me. Open Question: Taking relationship to next level?Me & my boyfriend have been going out for a month already & just recently we've been talking about taking our relationship to the next level, sexually that is... I'm 16 & he's 15. I know some people might think that's too young but we really do love each other. We know everything about each other. Also we met online (on ps3 to be exact. i know, its silly -.-), but he sent me pictures & i sent him mine. I've also seen him on a web cam & i talk to him on mic. We text each other everyday. The only problem is that he lives 6 hours away :( I live in NJ & he lives in NY We've known each other for 6 months. I've already know all his friends & talked to them. Well anyways we've just recently decided to meet in person & we talked about the possibility of actually having sex. Of course if i do decide to i would use protection & such but i don't want to seem like I'm rushing. He told me he thinks we are ready to take it to the next level but if i don't feel comfortable we don't have to. Any advice/help/opinions? Also please don't judge, I know all about the dangers of online dating that's why i asked if he had a web cam to make sure its not a 50 year old dude. O.o lol Open Question: Why do guys only see me as a booty call?I seem to have to same reoccurring problem that all the men I meet seem to only be interested in just fooling around with me. I don't understand why I only get attention from these types of guys, I don't consider myself to be very flirtatious or promiscuous. In fact, I am proud to say that I am a 22 virgin and I am waiting for someone who will actually love me. But lately I've been meeting men who swoop me of my feet, take me on romantic dates, get my hopes up, but always ending up saying they don't want to commit. These types of encounters are starting to wear me down and I don't want to fall in the same situation Open Question: lgbt: is it wrong to continue/peruse a relationship with someone you don't love?here's my story. i just want your opinion. don't tell me to go see a therapist or anything like that. I'm a lesbian... Well I guess most would now consider me bisexual. I've always been with girls I love them, I love everything about them. I've loved, in fact 2 girls in particular more then anything... the first we were very young and we ran away together after my sister died. Long story short I came home and she didn't.. eventually came home in a coffin. I thought I could never love again untill I met Lela we dated on and off 3 years and she broke up with me June 08 due to my drinking. she took all our friends with her. [i binge drink every june it's the anniversary of my sisters death and the loss of my first gf). I fell apart after this and moved in with an old gf. she had problems. I wasn't in love with her, but what we had worked. It was nice to be cared about and nice to be needed.. 6 months later I came home from work and she had o.d'd and died. ever since I've been incredibly lonely and I find I've been sleeping with girls I don't even care about just so I can have someone hold me. now my current problem arises... this past semester one of my guy friends started hitting on me. i know the type.. sweet, sensitive, kinda nerdy but an over all nice guy .he's good to girls and i know this. and maybe i was bored or lonely or whatever. but we fucked.. i felt nothing for him really but (i hate to admit it) he's good in bed and he held me and made me feel wanted. so now we do this regularly, he thinks there's something between us and i haven't said anything to make him feel other wise. In fact to keep him around i lead him on and tell him i like him. i figure its better to have a bum relationship and someone who cares for me then to be alone. i wont end it unless he does so its not like im fucking with his emotions or anything is it? is there anything wrong with this? that's why i posted it. i know somethings wrong and i want opinions. blunt opinions. i know somethings wrong. i just don't know exactly what it is. Open Question: Can anyone make sense of my partner's exes behaviour? They got together quite young - she 19 and he 25. They?had three lovely kids and the marriage lasted 16 years - they have been separated for the last 3 years. She ran off with her tutor and that lasted a year and a half. In April they had sex. She wanted him to stay the next night but he wouldn't and they have hardly spoken since except regarding childcare arrangements. She is now onto bloke number 3 who happens to be someone my partner was in school with. Anyways, she has known he and I were friends for the last 2 years - we met about 6 months into their break up. Only in August did I finally think I wanted more - for a long time he tried to ask me out and so on but I felt it was too soon, was happy at that time on my own etc Since then her behaviour has been so erratic - demanding a divorce the week we went on our first date - not a problem says he and yet no papers have ever materialised despite him asking several times and her solicitor saying it was all in hand. She has sent him nasty emails calling him for everything, then left food parcels on the door. She has tried to barge her way into his home and even sent for goods and charged them to him. Yet conversely she says that this situation is breaking her heart and that they should not argue - he doesnt retaliate but she does mud sling as it were. So he recently asked her if they could be civil and so on and she again fired lots of abuse his way. She has made childcare arrangements difficult - ie never saying when the youngest is coming meaning once he was in the house on his own. My partner loves his children and so frequency is never a problem but she never tells him what she is doing. She interogates the kids about me - what I look like etc yet she also convinced the eldest to meet me. The first time I met the other kids she put on old home movies all night when they went home. She also tells the kids that everyone is leaving her and so the middle daughter had to go and stay with her for a couple of days. She is smoking alot of cannabis - she is drinking alot and is very angry with everyone all the time. Recently (my partners nephew is in Afghanistan) I made up a wee food parcel to send to him, once she found this out she wanted his address to send one too yet my partner says she never even sent him a card before let alone anything else. I dunno what to make of it - its like she is unbalanced but maybe I am doing her a disservice. My partner says he wants to make a clean break but her behaviour worries me - I dont want to be happy at someone elses expense if that makes sense? Thanks Pearlene that is good advice - I did wonder if she might be jealous but since she ditched him and for the last 3 years has been telling him to get a life and move on etc I thought maybe not... it is just odd. More Recent Articles |
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