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Open Question: Is this a symptom of OCD? and more... Open Question: Is this a symptom of OCD?Is chronic jealousy a part of OCD? I have been diagnosed with OCD and I get obsessive jealous thoughts when I'm in a relationship. I have spent a long time not being in commitment and just dating because of this problem. But three years ago I met and fell in love with my fiancee. He has been nothing but respectful to me and a pure gentleman. When we first started dating he was a stickler for telling me how different he was from other men and he has no use for looking at other women or even thinking about it. In the last 3 years he has in fact proven to be that guy. In the beginning of the relationship I was fine and we were happy, but lately my chronic jealous thoughts come back up again. I don't tell him about it because I want to spare him. But the little he does know hurts him and he tells me he has never done anything that he wouldn't want done to him. Although I believe him, my thoughts won't stop. I am so hypervigilant when we go out in public of whether or not he's looking at another woman. It is so irrational, but it's so obsessive and the thoughts won't stop. I have a healthy self-esteem, I love my life, and I love him, but for some reason these jealous thoughts are so intrusive that sometimes it get so bad that I can't sleep at night. I obsess over a situation in which a woman walked by and he happened to glance and thats it. But in my head he was checking her out even if it was just for a second he looked. This image will replay constantly in my head as if he did something horrible. Again, I know it's irrational that's why I keep it to myself a lot. I am suffering because what my thoughts tell me and what my heart tells me are two different things. I don't get crazy and follow him or check his cell phone. My only problem is the thoughts and when these thoughts happen he notices I shut down and don't talk much but he doesn't know why. I get depressed because my life is great besides this. Again is this OCD? I am seeing a therpist but this problem still persists. Open Question: Help Please - I don't know what to do?The backstory is that my wife and I have been married for 9 years and we have 3 year old twins. I hurt her very bad over the years with my gambling problem, which I have stopped doing finally about 7 months ago, but a little too late. She started cheating on me about 4 months ago because she lost the love and intimacy she once felt for me and found it with another man. After a month and a half of trying to get her back I got nowhere. She was vengeful towards me and would say and do the meanest things by flaunting this new guy in my face. She started having him sleep at our house overnight (I already moved out) and she started letting him be around our kids. She was constantly telling me that she didn't love me anymore and doubted the feelings could ever return or if she could ever get past the resentment towards me. She finally agreed to go to counseling but for different reasons then mine. She said she wanted to find out if she could get past the resentment and find out if the love could ever return for me and she wanted to know if the feelings for the other guy were really for him or "grass is greener" scenario she had with him. We went to counseling on Saturday. The counselor asked why we were there. I said to save our marriage - she said that she was there for me, but not with me and that she wanted me to let her go. He asked me what I heard & I told them that she wants me to let her go, & because I had been selfish for so many years it was time I started to think about what she wanted & I would do as she asked & let her go. He then asked me to give them a few minutes to speak. When he called me back he said he recommended we get legally separated because after speaking with her he felt that she does still have feelings for me & she was confused about a lot of things that she needs time to sort out. He said the 1 year separation will give her the time to find out if her feelings for the other guy are real since they just met 4 months ago & both came out of long term relationships. It would also give her time to see if any of the feelings she once had for me could return. We both agreed this was a good plan. After counseling I dropped her off & left. 15 minutes later she called me to see if I was ok, I told her not really, she said she wanted me to know that things between her & the other guy weren't as rosy as she had been making them seem. Next day she called & asked if I would like to go to lunch with her, which I was happy to do. After lunch she asked me if I wanted to go home to put up the xmas tree & stuff with her, I said sure. Monday night she called me to see what was new & how things were going. Small talk. She asked me if I had found a new job yet - told her I was still looking. She said she would look too & let me know if she finds anything. She called me 10 minutes later & told me about one she thought looked good & would email me the information on it. Now that you have an idea to what has been happening I am looking for some advice. The "new" way she is acting towards me, since counseling on Saturday, is completely different. She is being nice & we get along as good as can be. She told me that she spoke to the counselor and felt great that he agreed with her about something. I asked her what it was & she told me the reason she brought the other guy into our home & allowed him to sleep over & meet our kids is because her parents were pressuring her to for the sake of the kids. They told she would never know if he was right or not if she didn't see him interact with them. Their main concern was for the kids because she was spending a lot of time away from them to be with him instead, and if she let him into the home & around the kids then she would be there more often for them as a result. She felt it was way too early to combine the 2 worlds but gave into their pressure even though she disagreed. She told me she asked the counselor his opinion & he told her not to have the other guy at the house anymore & to keep him away from our kids until a few months down the road when she could figure out if her feelings for him are real. She called the other guy & told him this. Even though we just had the counseling session on Saturday, she went from seeing the other guy almost daily to not seeing him Saturday, Sunday or Monday as far as I know. But I did see a text message on her phone Sunday to him that said "I love you", unfortunately I didn't check the date it was sent to see if it was before or after Saturday's counseling session. Now is where I am confused. She said all along that she wanted me to let her go & I agreed to. Since then she has been "nice" & we have gotten along well. Every so often she still says that she doesn't have the "love" feelings for me & doesn't want to be together right now even though I am no longer asking her to be. She says she wants the time to figure things out. I just don't know how to act with her. Is seeing her when she asks me to or talking to her on the phon Open Question: I have no idea what to do. Anyone moms have this epxerience at all?So Ive had problems conceiving for about a year. Irregular periods they're never on time. I had to take Provera for a week to start it, then BC to keep it regular. On top of that I have a fibroid, which is also why it's hard to conceive. Either way, it doesnt keep me from TTC. In Oct 7th-9th I had my first real period without any help from medicine and it lasted only four days, it usually lasts eight. Then I TTC the day before my OVU date. On november, I missed my period again but On the 29th I spotted when I wiped but I had gone away now. I took a test last week and it said negative. Does anyone know what coud be wrong? The spotting, Im trying not to think anything of it becuase of the irregular periods. Might I ad once more. Period was Oct 7-10. Ovu day was 20. TTC on 19th. Missed it Nov 7th. Spotted Nov 29th and 30th. Little heavy then light next trip to the bathroom. Its Dec first today. What should I do? Open Question: Please Help me figure this out?The backstory is that my wife and I have been married for 9 years and we have 3 year old twins. I hurt her very bad over the years with my gambling problem, which I have stopped doing finally about 7 months ago, but a little too late. She started cheating on me about 4 months ago because she lost the love and intimacy she once felt for me and found it with another man. After a month and a half of trying to get her back I got nowhere. She was vengeful towards me and would say and do the meanest things by flaunting this new guy in my face. She started having him sleep at our house overnight (I already moved out) and she started letting him be around our kids. He would be there with my family when I would stop over and it was like a dagger in my heart every time. She was constantly telling me that she didn't love me anymore and doubted the feelings could ever return or if she could ever get past the resentment towards me. On top of that she said "how could she look past the feelings she developed for him and act like they weren't there when they are". She finally agreed to go to counseling but for different reasons then mine. She said she wanted to find out if she could get past the resentment and find out if the love could ever return for me and she wanted to know if the feelings for the other guy were really for him or for the "grass is greener" scenario she had with him. We went to counseling on Saturday. Tom, the counselor asked why we were there. I said to try and save our marriage and she said that she was there for me, but not with me and that she wanted me to let her go. Tom asked me what I heard her say and I told them that she wants me to let her go, and because I had been selfish for so many years that it was time I started to think about what she wanted and I would do as she asked and let her go. Tom then asked me to give them a few minutes to speak alone. I left the room. When he called me back in he said that he recommended we get legally separated because after speaking with her he determined that she does still have feelings for me and she was confused about a lot of things that she needs time to sort out. He said the one year separation will give her the time to find out if her feelings for the other guy are real or not since they just met 4 months ago and both came out of long term relationships. And it would also give her time to see if any of the feelings she once had for me could return. We both agreed that this was a good plan. After counseling I dropped her off at home and left. 15 minutes later she called me to see if I was ok, I told her not really, she said she wanted me to know that things between her and the other guy weren't as rosy as she had been making them seem. The next day she called and asked if I would like to go to lunch with her and the kids, which I was happy to do. After lunch she asked me if I wanted to go home and put up the xmas tree and decorations with her, I said sure. Then Monday night she called me to see what was new and how things were going. Just small talk. She asked me if I had found a new job yet and I told her I was still looking. She said she would look too and let me know if she finds anything. She called me 10 minutes later and told me about one she thought looked good and would email me the information on it. So now that you have an idea as to what has been happening I am looking for some advice to things I am confused about and what I should do. The "new" way she is acting towards me, since counseling on Saturday, is completely different. She is being nice and we get along as good as can be. She told me that she spoke to the counselor and felt great that he agreed with her about something. I asked her what it was and she told me that the only reason she brought the other guy into our home and allowed him to sleep over and meet our kids is because her parents were pressuring her to for the sake of the kids. They told she would never know if he was right or not if she didn't see him interact with them. Their main concern was for the kids because she was spending a lot of time away from them to be with him instead, and of she let him into the home and around the kids then she would be there more often for them as a result. She felt it was way too early to combine the two worlds but gave in to their pressure even though she disagreed. She told me that she asked the counselor his opinion and he told her not to have the other guy at the house anymore and to keep him away from our kids until a few months down the road when she could figure out if her feelings for him are real or not. She called the other guy and told him this, he was not exactly happy I guess. Even though we just had the counseling session on Saturday, she went from seeing the other guy almost daily to not seeing him Saturday, Sunday or Monday as far as I know. But I did see a text message on her phone Sunday to him that said "I love you", unfortunately I didn't check the date it was sen More Recent Articles |
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