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Open Question: Mother-in-Law's controlling ways worse now that we have a child!! She's driving me crazy!! Any advice? and more... Open Question: Mother-in-Law's controlling ways worse now that we have a child!! She's driving me crazy!! Any advice?My mother-in-law has always pursed her lips at me or made snide under-handed comments about how a wife should be, which is ironic, considering she's divorced and has made quite the mess of most of her romantic relationships in life. She has, since we were married 8 years ago, always tried to "educate" me on how to do things "properly." I would just smile and nod and be irritated, but I could live with it; after all, we live 4 1/2 hours away. Thank God! Now that we have our daughter, her first grandchild, she has stepped it up and she's driving me crazy in the worst way. Her personality to begin with is "look at me"/center-of-attention-at-all-times to begin with. She's always telling us how some 25-year-old hit on her and how she gets so many offers for dates. She's engaged to a lovely man who she promised to marry 4 years ago, after his son graduated from high school. Her fiance's son graduated this past year and she told him, since he doesn't have much work coming into his business, and she wouldn't be able to retire (she's 48), she won't marry him until she can. In the meantime, she's e-mailing other men and talking to them on the phone. Who does that? Ok, so back to the issue...She spares no time in reliving her days as a parent and how she did things, and telling me how she thinks my DD should be raised. I am constantly badgered with questions like, "When are you going to wean? Haven't you nursed her long enough?," (My daughter is 12 months), and, "I never let my boys sleep in bed with me," and "you really should have her on 2% milk," even though my daughter is on the slight side and needs a little extra fat AND our pediatrician has recommended whole milk for her for that reason. This is all irritating, of course, because both her boys (my husband included) are quite spoiled and have problems not getting their own way (surprise) but the real kicker is her controlling the holidays and all family events this year. She wasn't there to see my daughter when she was born because of a medical condition...understandable. But she refused to come for her 1st birthday party, which hurt my husband's feelings. She was too busy with work and going to festivals with her boyfriend that week. So when we didn't move the party (and dining table) into the living room so she could interact with the party via webcam, she threw the world's biggest tantrum, trying to punish my husband by not talking to him, and acting like a spoiled child. We've always known this about my M-I-L...it's kind of a family joke ("oh, that's just her"...is the phrase). So, to make peace we went up for an unplanned visit for Thanksgiving. She was mad that I didn't want my dogs in the house because they are outdoor dogs and my daughter is scared of them. She let her 75lb. dog charge my daughter and bowl her over and when I pushed the dog away and expressed my frustration to the dog, got very testy with me and defended the dog ("He's just a baby!"...He's 8 years old). She would not put up any baby gates, even though the stairs to her basement had no door and the entrance was in her living room where she insisted my DD also play, because it would "smudge the walls." I had to watch her like a hawk all 4 days. Her advice was also a constant flow...not needed, or appreciated. Now for Christmas, her other son and D-I-L (who of course can do no wrong) chose to come after Christmas from out of town on the day we are leaving. I am working the following day at 6am and his mother wants us to stay the whole day to spend time with her son with whom my husband is estranged, and who has treated our family with distain and rudeness for as long as I can remember. I wanted to travel Saturday night, because it's easier with a baby to travel at night when she can sleep and so that I could have enough time for some rest and prepare for work AND my husband needed to get home for an unexpected work project. Also that Sunday will be a huge travel day and we always have construction quite a bit of the way there and back. Traveling with my one-year-old in the day has proven to be VERY difficult. My M-I-L doesn't care about any of these reasons we've given her. My mother-in-law threw the biggest hissy fit. She was SO mad. She brought it up again and again how unfair to her other son it is. How selfish I was being. She wouldn't listen to my DH that he also needed to leave for work and it just wasn't me. She guilted him until he felt bad...so now he says he feels guilty about not honoring his mother and her wishes and I am being selfish for not wanting to stay to please her. I feel like this is going to be an awful Christmas. How do I not resent her and feel bitterness towards her during the holidays when she insists on always getting her way. Oh and last complaint, I promise: She told me she would wrap my gifts to my daughter herself since she can do it so well. When I said, "I'd like to wrap them for her, but thank you," she huffed, pur Open Question: I want to break up with this suicidal girl, but she'll kill herself if I do. Help?Alright so, me and this girl have been internet dating for about 4 months now. The only problem is that I don't feel the same way I felt for her. I don't know how to break things off with her because she is head over heels for me and she would do anything just to keep me in the relationship with her, but I don't love her anymore. Last time I broke up with her she put herself in the hospital by over dosing on sleeping pills and nearly having two heart failures. This girl is really sweet and sincere, but I don't love her like I use to. I need to move on because I'm not happy and I feel trapped. She'll do just about anything to keep me in a relationship with her because she lost most of her friends and her family doesn't care for her anymore. How do I end this relationship without her killing herself? I don't think I could live on with that guilt, and knowing it was my fault. PLEASE HELP! More Recent Articles |
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